With all a woman
seems to go through to have a baby (pain, screaming, tears and so
on), why would she ever have another”
I mean, I don't
need to shut my hand in a car door to know that it would hurt. I've
seen plenty of other people do it. Shutting parts of one's anatomy in
various bibs and bobs of mechanical things has always fascinated
audiences. And it doesn't have to have the artistry of Charlie
Chaplin becoming one with a machine and traveling through the cogs in
“Modern Times.” It just has to be man... soft piece of bodily
anatomy...hard surface... close the loop and laughs will ensue. Heck,
America's Funniest Home Videos has made a living off of it for
donkeys years.
So, yeah, looking
at it from the safety of never having had one, I can see why a woman
would say- and gladly- “Baby? Me? No, but thanks for asking.”
There was a time,
of course, when going forth to procreate was what women were expected
to do, right? Just so we're clear... I'm not saying I thought that
was the way it should be. I'm just sayin'... Get married, have a
baby. OK, but then, before you knew it, we were in a position where
babies were like the candies on the Lucille Ball-Vivian Vance
assembly line sketch - they were coming out so fast we were stashing
them wherever we could find room and losing colossal amounts of rain
forest to build cribs to stash them in. And by stash them in, I mean,
of course, places to lovingly place them with warm blankies, stuffed
toys and plenty of easy escape routes.
Anyway, the process
seemed to normalize somewhat in the early 70s and the birth rate
surely did slow down. Sitting by my wife while Jennifer was being
born, I was, admittedly, very young- three months short of my 20th
birthday – but it seemed like all that screaming and carrying on
would have made the chance of a second child a long shot. And that's
before my wife started to feel the pain.
Bam! Good one! The
classics never get old... before my wife started... Brilliant.
But seriously
folks, the whole procedure looked and sounded very uncomfortable,
heck, you could even say painful. So, “Why would you go through
that again?” didn't seem like that unreasonable a question.
Well, in my
research, there seemed to be one answer and one answer only: “After
a while the memory of the pain fades and you just remember holding
the baby...” and so on.
Now, I think the
reason I have asked countless women this question over the years is
because it doesn't really seem like a good answer to me. Yes, this
would obviously be different if it was men who were responsible for
going forth and procreating, Sure, there would be plenty of going
forth, but I think darned little procreation... “You want me to to
pass something the size of a bowling ball through a space in my body
the size of a lemon? Yeah... That's not going to happen. Let's just
save the rain forests instead.”
All of this came
flying back to me the other Sunday morning at 3:30 am. The
chemotherapy I have currently started again is a 28-day course. I
take the medicine once a day for 21 days, then have seven days off to
let my system recover. As I mentioned previously, we have tripled the
amount of chemo I was to take, and added another form of medicine to
try to get me back in remission.
Saturday night was
the first time I had used the new protocol. Whether it was because it
was even stronger than I thought it would be, or because my system
had been resting for a week, or a combination of the two, all hell
broke loose. I'm serious!! My stomach felt like 13-14 people were
using my stomach to stow embers to restart their fires in the
morning. Brothers and sisters... it was horrific. It was by far the
worst pain I have experienced in my cancer journey.
And here's the
thing... I almost immediately forgot how bad it was. I was even
trying to remember so that I could let Sheri know and we could talk
about it. But. Gone... Bupkus... Nada. Yes, I knew it had been
terrible, but I couldn't remember the details. Sort of like the
ladies had been telling me all these years. And I didn't even had a
beautiful little baby to compensate for the pain. I just had a
headache.
Life's a funny old
thing, ain't it?
There are a variety of versions of
the story that gives this blog its name. The pony is the constant in
all of them. A man is on his way to a party when he comes across a
young boy shoveling ass over tea kettle at an enormous mountain of
manure. The man asks the child if he wouldn't rather go with him to
the party than shovel all that poop. The kid says, “No way man.
With all that poop... there must be a pony in there somewhere
No comments:
Post a Comment